My father came back on a flight from a business trip with a
safe landing. The airline slowed down to a stop after exiting the
runway and paused without motion. Two minutes later, the airline
pivoted 90 degrees clockwise and stopped. After another 2 minute
pause, the airline again pivoted, but to the left about 180
degrees. Again, the airline stopped and stood motionless. Two
minutes later, the captain's voice boomed from the loudspeaker,
"Can anyone out there tell me where Gate 11 is?"
After a long delay at the snowbound Cincinnati Airport, we
were finally pulling out (backing up to start taxiing). The air
hostesses were doing their pre-flight routine, apologizing for
the delay, when the captain's voice boomed: "All you air
hostesses in the aisles: How many times have I told you not to
stand in the aisles and block my view when I am backing
up!"
My brother, his daughters, and I traveled to Europe one
summer. One of our stays during the trip was in Germany. One
night we had been out driving the streets looking for a
restaurant. Appropriately, we got lost. We then began to search
for someone to ask directions from and came across a German
police officer. As we approached him, I rolled down the window
and asked, "Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" He replied in English, "Of
course, you idiot! I'm German!" Needless to say I was quite
embarrassed, but we did get directions.
A saleswoman from a major condom company was required to
travel cross-country to meet a prospective buyer. Her boss asked
her to take about 100 condoms of various types with her. As she
was running late for her flight, she simply stuffed them all into
her briefcase. The cab ride to the airport was delayed by traffic
and she had just enough time to throw her ticket at the counter
and run onto the plane. As she jumped into the airplane, she
dropped her briefcase, and all the condoms flew out all over the
floor in front of all the passengers and crew. They all stared
amazed at the display and then looked to the woman, who said
sheepishly, "I'm meeting a new client."
