The Top Ten Ways You Know You're in a Bad Church

  1. The church bus has gun racks.
  1. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor.
  1. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version."
  1. There's an ATM in the lobby.
  1. Choir wears leather robes.
  1. Worship services are B.Y.O.S. - "Bring Your Own Snake."
  1. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum.
  1. Karaoke Worship Time.
  1. Ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?"
  1. The only song the organist knows is In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida.

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