When you take a long time, you're slow.
When your boss takes a long time, s/he's thorough.
When you don't do it, you're lazy.
When your boss doesn't do it, s/he's too busy.
When you make a mistake, you're an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, s/he's only human.
When doing something without being told, you're overstepping
your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative.
When you take a stand, you're being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, s/he's being firm.
When you overlooked a rule of etiquette, you're being
rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, s/he's being original.
When you please your boss, you're apple-polishing.
When your boss pleases his/her boss, s/he's being
cooperative.
When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, s/he's on business.
When you're on a day off sick, you're always calling in
sick.
When your boss is a day off sick, s/he must be very ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an
interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it's because s/he's
overworked.