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Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo pi
2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 Microscope
Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 Bananosecond
Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 Billigram
Time it takes to sail 220 yards at a nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong
365.25 days of drinking low-calorie beer because it's less filling: 1 Lite year
16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
Half of a large intestine: 1 Semicolon
1 million aches: 1 Megahertz
Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 Horsepower
Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
435.6 graham crackers: 1 Pound cake
1 million microphones: 1 Megaphone
1 million bicycles: 2 Megacycles
365.25 days: 1 Unicycle
2000 mockingbirds: 2 Kilomockingbirds
10 cards: 1 Decards
1 kilograms of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
1000 grams of wet socks: 1 Literhösen
1 millionth of a fish: 1 Microfiche
1 trillion pins: 1 Terrapin
10 rations: 1 Decoration
100 rations: 1 C-Ration
2 monograms: 1 Diagram
8 nickels: 2 Paradigms
2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
100 senators: Not 1 decision