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Top Ten Good Things About Having the Flu
No one wants to come near you.
You can legally take sedatives.
You realize guests on daytime talk shows have worse lives than you do.
You get away with being rude, obnoxious, and surly.
You can smell like a baboon's butt and nobody complains.
You can schlepp about the house unwashed and in your housecoat all day.
No matter how bad you feel, it's still better than how you felt after last month's tequila-n-gin party.
Star Trek
reruns.
Your dog is allowed on the bed.
You get to pass the virus on to those you really dislike.
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