Male Questionnaire

  1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
    a) lovemaking
    b) screwing
    c) the pigskin bus pulling into tuna town
     
  2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
    a) your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
    b) your blood-test results
    c) five tequila slammers
     
  3. You time your orgasm so that:
    a) your partner climaxes first
    b) you both climax simultaneously
    c) you don't miss Sports Center
     
  4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
    a) healthy, creative love-play
    b) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would ever agree to
    c) not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about
     
  5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex is with
    a) the best part of the experience
    b) the second best part of the experience
    c) $100 extra
     
  6. Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in weight in the last month. You tell her that it is:
    a) No concern of yours
    b) not a problem, she can join your gym
    c) a conservative estimate
     
  7. You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
    a) a myth
    b) an oxymoron
    c) a moron
     
  8. Foreplay is to sex as:
    a) appetizer is to entree
    b) primer is to paint
    c) a line is to an amusement park ride
     
  9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
    a) "I hope we can still be friends."
    b) "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
    c) "Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: YOU."
     
  10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:
    a) probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
    b) is uptight and a waste of time
    c) shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
     

Results:

If you answered "a" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man.
If you answered "b" more than seven times, check into therapy, you're still a little confused.
If you answered "c" more than 7 times, "You da MAN!"

 

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