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February 16, 1955: After 15 minutes of sitting in a boat listening to Go Back Home, You Obnoxious Little Foreign Brats!, humorless Disneyland execs decide to look for another composer for their new attraction.
July 23, 1956: Colonel Tom Parker says to Elvis, "Boy, you're nothin' but skin and bones. You better put on some weight, or people are gonna think you're sick!"
June 7, 1966: "Hey chaps, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend, Yoko."
July 18, 1966: "Let's let Ringo sing one. No harm in that, is there?"
March 30, 1968: An alien craft leaves a baby on the doorstep of the Dion farm just outside of Montreal.
September 22, 1968: Baffled by audiences' lack of enthusiasm about a deaf, dumb and blind shuffleboard champ, Pete Townshend heads dejectedly down to the corner pub.
August 16, 1969: At a party for her 11th birthday, Madonna Louise Ciccone is strangely unfazed when Vinny Martello stuffs two ice cream cones down the front of her dress.
May 21, 1971: In a meat-deprivation-fueled stupor, Paul McCartney tells Linda, "Hey, Luv, why don't you play in the band?"
July 29, 1974: "Soup or sandwich today, Ms. Cass?"
October 31, 1975: At a costume party in Greenwich Village, a soldier, an Indian, a biker, a construction worker, a cop and a cowboy all decide, "This is too much fun to do just once a year!"
September 6, 1977: Due to a misprint on a high school schedule, Kenny G. attends "Sax Education" class.
October 1, 1978: Michael Jackson takes in Peter Pan on Broadway and thinks how cool it would be to look more like Sandy Duncan.
November 17, 1984: "Don't worry, Mr. Dylan, the novocaine will wear off LONG before your recording session."
August 12, 1986: "Congratulations, Mr. Hanson—it's another boy!"
November 3, 1987: Knowing how much her kids loved Star Wars, a naive Tipper Gore rushes home with a newly bought "Luke Skyywalker and the 2 Live Crew" CD.
July 16, 1993: Shaquille O'Neal skips free-throw drills to record his first rap album.
January 6, 1997: Art Garfunkel gets three fewer hits than David Crosby on eBay when "celebrity musician sperm" is entered in the search box.
September 2, 1997: Lou Bega finishes Mambo #4, decides his symphony needs one more movement.