Top 11 Reasons You Won't Be Asked to Run for Vice President

  1. It wasn't all the acid you dropped, as much as that one baby.
  1. During the audition, your nose felt too much like a hemorrhoid.
  1. The candidate's mom gave you low marks because she didn't like your answer to the intimacy question.
  1. Let's face it; it's those damn Viagra commercials.
  1. Too much you, too little Spandex.
  1. You can still cast a reflection in a mirror.
  1. Your judgment has been in question since you picked Darva Conger.
  1. I don't knoe!
  1. You did inhale—burning flag smoke.
  1. The "Vice" part doesn't mean "dresses like Sonny Crockett."
  1. You called the nominee's bluff on the abortion issue by getting his teen daughter pregnant.

 

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