Ten Signs Your Wife is Cheating with Santa

  1. She refers to your bed as "Santa's Workshop."
  1. An elf comes by the house to drop off a pair of her earrings.
  1. Your new baby has white hair and a beard.
  1. She smells like a combination of peppermint sticks and reindeer-chow.
  1. Instead of mailing your children's letters to Santa, she just stuffs them in her bra.
  1. Paramedics need Jaws of Life to get the two of them out of your chimney.
  1. Lately, she's been commuting to work in a flying sled.
  1. She keeps saying, "Not tonight, visions of sugarplums are dancing in my head."
  1. For Christmas, your kids receive something called, "The Your-Daddy-Sucks Doll."
  1. During sex she shouts, "Ho, ho, ho!"

 

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